Frantic for last-minute gifts? Here’s some for not a lot of quid:

“Mind Blowing Funk Hits”

The Ziploc Vacuum Starter Kit. With no battery or plug, your giftee will be pumping his or her way clear to obsession~and I’m not talking off-label use. Then you got your Avon Moisture Therapy hand creme. Sure, I dig l’Occitane at 4 times the price, but not so the metal packaging you can’t get product out of after a certain point. For readers and jokers, one of my all-time faves is The Joys of Yiddish; if you’re a real schnorrer, which may or may not mean “cheapskate” in Yiddish, you can get it used for 23 cents plus shipping here. There is a new version out but I can’t vouch for it [enter Yiddish punchline]. For the gift of beauty, might I suggest Laura Mercier’s face polish; a pricey scrub at 30 bucks but worth it. Lastly, for hair, I have yet to top Terax Crema conditioner (buy American!) but that could be because I can’t find a good shampoo. Which, you know, might make a nice gift, as would … Bose headphones. No pressure.