I Know I Shouldn’t Post This

zukeBut really, it was Mother Nature’s (God’s?) own work, you see, and I feel it gives us all something to aspire to in this, the gardening season. I mean it’s positively glowing.

Contributed by: Friend X whose co-worker brought it into the office last year.

Tend well thy gardens, fair maidens.  All this could be yours, and more!

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

RogersMy contemporaries and I found Mr. Rogers hokey. Whether it was the sweater or our age or a distaste for puppetry, we didn’t watch. In college, we bandied about the word “special” with great sarcasm, the invoking of “specialness” ensuring snickers. Yet when the anniversary of Mr. Rogers’ testimony before the Senate Subcommittee on Communications

occurred on May 1 and its video made the rounds, his words regarding just that – specialness – had a profound effect upon me that has lasted all month.

Here was a guy who was just, essentially, good. Not only inherently good, he did good. You can be good without doing any particular good, but he was and did — without flash or cloying sentimentality or maudlin pity for those less fortunate. He really felt, I think, that all men are created equal. He talked and walked it without raising his voice.

He recounted, in the 1969 hearing, how when the money ran out, viewers of (then young) PBS from all over said, “We’ve got to have more of this neighborhood expression of care.” He addressed the no-nonsense Senator John Pastore from Rhode Island (formerly the Governor of Rhode Island and the first Italian American elected governor or Senator), urging that non-violent children’s programming was critically important. That “it’s much more dramatic that two men could be working out their feelings of anger … much more dramatic than showing something of gunfire.”

rogers bwFred Rogers humbly explained to the gruff toughie senator (whose mother had supported 5 children as a seamstress when his father died and who was unfamiliar with Mr. Rogers Neighborhood): “This is what I give. I give an expression of care every day to each child, to help him realize that he is unique. I end the program by saying, ‘You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you, just the way you are.’” As I watched this gentle man telling a senator over 40 years ago something so simple, arguing for funding to continue spreading his message, I realized what I’d been missing all along in my youthful superiority complex.

In a world consumed by the accumulation of wealth and fine objects, there is a lot to be said just for just being a decent guy. I don’t know if they still give it out, but years ago my friend’s young son in Randolph received an award at school for being a good person. I bawled at the news, overcome that this quality was considered worth honoring, and proud of the boy. I don’t think Mr. Rogers likely made a lot of money. If he did, he didn’t spend it on his clothes; he probably gave a lot of it away. He probably didn’t live in a fancy house or drive a fancy car; most Presbyterian ministers don’t.

Who is more influential, ultimately: a gorgeous actor or accomplished businessperson or a hot heiress or a leathers-rocking NASCAR stud…or an unassuming man who let millions of children know – back when people didn’t say such things to children very often – that it’s okay to feel lonely or angry or scared; it’s what you do with it that matters? And more importantly, that they mattered. Who’s contributing more to planet earth? I guess it depends on who’s judging. My money’s on Rogers.

For me, it’s become, increasingly, quite enough for people to be and do good. We don’t need a sports car or a big title or awards of any kind. I’m happy competing with my friend to see who can immerse self in the river the latest in October. I’m not disparaging those who achieve great things. I’ve known persons who’ve won an Oscar and the French Open and I’ve held Hannah Kearney’s gold medal in my hand; I’m awed by all three. But I’m equally in awe of helpers. Inner city teachers. Nurses. People with disabled children who fight for them and do their best to give them lives with meaning. And people who are good at anything at all. Making a grilled cheese sandwich. Cultivating a flower garden. Fishing. And nutters who amass Certificates … for, like, Evelyn Wood’s Speed Reading. Rock on.

Neighbor, please take today to think about your value. The way you make strangers snort at the grocery store. The trash yourogers iii collected on Green Up Day. The pet you chose from a shelter. The estranged friend you wrote even when it was awkward because so much time had gone by, but you knew he was in a hard situation. I’m not sure what I’ve done with my life. I do endeavor, in general, to make people feel good. And to remind them, while their difficulty, or their friend’s, may have little or no upside, how Mr. Rogers once said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.

I think you’re special. There’s no person in the whole world like you and I like you, just the way you are. Good day.

And Let’s Not Forget the Amateur Craftspersons

flugencrafter…whose work brings untold joy to All, including this piece lovingly crafted by an amateur New Hampshire Flügenkrafter in good standing.

What, pray tell, is flügen? Go here.

Learn it. Love it. Live it.

God Love the Gentle Craftspersons

Cut Out CopyCrafting deep into the night, with needle nose and epoxy and colored threads…all so we can give someone a nice gift. I sleep easy at night picturing them at work, like the Brownies that hekeyslped the cobbler.

Cut Out Copy I happened upon at a festival. Along with magical collage art, she makes wicked cool jewelry like rings from antique typewriter keys. Dear to a writer’s heart!  Also, pendants in bottle caps: sooper aws. Barbee’s got a great vibe and that’s where I want my $ going; it’s flügen.

Then you’ve got April’s Maple. April, in the Northeast Kingdom, is also the bomb. The Maple bomb. Look at these little crunchins Maple Crunchinsyou can put on your cereal or whatever. I spoon them directly into my mouth. Wash ’em down with maple cotton candy.

The 3 Sisters made my favorite necklace of all time forever. Nakid pendantThey don’t make these any more (Cut Out Copy makes similar) but they do retro license plate and hotel key art.

Santa Lucia by N AikensThe last but not least, a beloved friend, stitches a  portrait of your home out of materials you supply. Brilliant!

Keep awn craftin’, crafters. As the drummer mouths during the 60s flashback in This Is Spinal Tap, “We. Love. You.”

Waxing Cosmic: Living the Flügen Lifestyle

flugen

One year my SIL (or was it that venerable source of info, the Women’s Magazine?) suggested that, instead of making New Year’s resolutions, her family list their accomplishments from the prior year. Normally, humans fret about what we didn’t do instead of acknowledging what we did do. It’s not too late to tally what you did in 2014.

This year, my SIL suggested picking a word for what they’d all focus on in 2015. I won’t tell you theirs, but my word was: FLÜGEN. Flügen is a delectable concept that can and must be spread in dire Modern Tymes.

But first, a digression. Like many, I’m fascinated by energy—its sources, conservation, and best use. I hate wasted energy, and I prize efficiency. One lean winter, horribly, this meant freezing my guests right out of my house. But mostly it means that I think of life (and death) in terms of energy. Everything from pebbles to peonies to polar vortices has its own particular energy, people included. Language has energy. Music. Wind. Rivers. Starlight. Coffee beans. This whole place is wildly energetic.

galleryhip.comAt events where everyone is dancing — the New World Festival, the Dead, a wedding – I often wonder if all that celebratory energy being generated is going somewhere that it’s used for some purpose, on this plane or another. I imagine a relay system, where the energy is transmitted far away to where it’s needed, to an orphanage or a war hospital or a marital dispute. I like to think it’s not just floating up uselessly into the ethers. That would be a waste.

One form of energy quite within our power is our thoughts. They came from other energy (from divine inspiration, random neural firings, Wheaties, who knows) and have untold power. Most things you see started with a thought. People survive horrific circumstances by choosing useful thoughts and banishing others. I sometimes wonder if when I felt so broke that I wouldn’t raise the thermostat: if only I’d spent that energy, that money, and warmed the house up, I’d have felt more hopeful and lighter thoughts might have brought better things (people, situations?) my way. I feel for workers in hard tymes now, with school closings and business failures. Maybe if they can mobilize hopeful thoughts, send out that kind of energy, new options will appear. Maybe the rest of us can send a buoyant energy their way. Maybe via joyful dancing or icy swimming —and writing the occasional check—we can hurry those options along.

Anyway, at Christmas one niece kept saying flügen for unknown reasons, so we made variations on it (flugenschluffer, meisterflugen). Weeks pass. I’m Googling flügen (umlaut?), so I can send my nieces my own (unsolicited) Word of the Year.  The Urban Dictionary (somewhat sloppily) says: “FLÜGEN was created in 2004. FLÜGEN is what you make of it, it’s a relaxed lifestyle, basically just going with life and enjoying it. FLÜGEN …can be anything and everything you want it to be. Some say it’s not a word, but a lifestyle … the beauty of FLÜGEN is that you can decide for yourself.” Interesting. Make what you want of it. Good deal.

For reasons I won’t go into, because they are unknown, a friend and I call each other variations on viscomte or vicscount, and comtessa or contessa, making an absolute mess of English, French and Italian to no good end. Usually these are alliterative titles, like Viscomte de Verisimilitude or Viscount of Villainy; Contessa di Chronic Fatigue or Comtesse de Corpuscle. But one day he called me Comtessa Von Flügen and, well, I haven’t felt the same since. Words carry energy; I now associate myself with the flügen “lifestyle.” I feel flügeny. Flugenesque things have been happening. And get this: people not married by my (advanced) age have had, as a consort put it, “a fairly comprehensive dating experience.” Meaning, in part, we’ve seen wicked bad road. But I’m feeling oddly lucky. Flügen springs eternal, apparently. I’m putting romance in the flügenhopper.

snowdropsSo try thinking differently. Try not catastrophizing in your mind. What if things magically fell into place? If you got a break? Spring is the perfect time – as the vortex weakens, the sap runs, Snowdrops emerge … the wheels of flügen are greased. I intend to summon all manner of ease in my new flügen lifestyle, and wish for you the same. Meanwhile, please know I’m grateful for your deep thots, your crazy words, and this vehicle to spread them intergalactically.  Thank you for reading, and relaying as you do to where needed. It’s not too late to list your accomplishments, select your Word of the Year, make yourself royal for unknown reasons, and/or convert to the flügen way. Report in as able. Good day.

Provocative Google Autofill of the Month:

When WHAT IS YOUR…is entered, Google autofills with:

-Name

-Spirit animal

-Name in French

-Greatest weakness

I Beg to Differ

I Love YouYou can absolutely say, “I love you,” too much. You can also hear it too much. When you’re, like, standing on line with a super gooey couple. Or someone is talking to their dog or horse in what may or may not be a reciprocal relationship and for whatever reason you can’t get away.

These stackable rings, which are not inherently a terrible idea, “arrive” in a “custom presentation case” with a “Certificate of Authenticity.” From the Department of Goo!

Who writes this stuff? Oh:  The “Bradford Exchange.”

Dear Certified Finalist

certified finalistIt seems I have already won one of a number of prizes, including either $10,000 cash, an iPad Air, or $150 cash in hand. Not sure what the diff is between “cash” and “cash in hand.” Probably the former is “cash” towards the purchase of a fully-loaded convertible at the auto dealer I am to report to to claim my “prize.”

Any unclaimed prizes will not be awarded. Ah. There it is! The house ensures the outcome of this “contest” by mailing the winning numbers to deceased “winners.” Something. The house always wins.

The return addresses amuse. This one reads:

THE OFFICES OF/RECORDS OF DECLARATION/DISBURSEMENTS DIVISION/NATIONAL CORRESPONDENCES OFFICIAL RECORDS

Wow, like a bunch of official-sounding words spat out of a BINGO cage, a cousin to the CBS.

Thank you, Disbursements Division! Catch you at the auto dealer’s. When I come up with the other $60K for the convertible. Which will be never. Convertibles: not so practical in Vermont.

Polar Vortex Follies

dietzyNew Englanders are not sissies. In our winter not as snow-dumped as the coastline’s yet brutal in its wind and crushing sub-z temps, we’ve had to make due. As we observed the recent anniversary of the liberation from Auschwitz and current global horrors, we know things could be much, much worse.

And so, because we can, we amuse ourselves in between the complaining. I, for example, unapologetically guzzle discounted Valentine chocolates in bed without brushing. Dreaming is cheap and I go hot places—the Keys, Hell, some award ceremony where I’m burning up under the lights. Others are stoking their woodstoves with such vigor it’s like Havana in there. They’re making dinner in their underwear, as did probably the colonists. Wood heat is sizzling, man; between that and their itchy wool, colonists were surely warmer than today’s oil burning homeowner playing Drop That Thermostat against housemates or sometimes even himself.

As a stranger once advised, unsolicited, during my first icy winter in Vermont: “You have to embrace it.” That year I’d snowshoe in gale-force winds, wincing (passers-by thought smiling?) and willing myself, by God, to embrace it. This year as nutters pass, ice-jogging in shorts … kids with no mittens, no hat, unzipped jacket (hood hanging useless) blowing wide open … I’ve embraced it — not while undulating in a stalled chairlift at 20 below but by reading under a blanket, baking, knitting … with a brief tundra walk daily in a fleece burka to pretend I’m outdoorsy. Others more brave went snowshoeing, skiing, skating and, insanely, ice fishing. They claimed to like it. Stockholm syndrome?

Still, people are getting cranky. Things that annoy have become intolerable. A friend writes:

“If Google is going to track my every move online and use it to serve up ads, couldn’t they at least do it better?  Last fall I bought a dehumidifier.  Every website I visit is still shows me ads for . . . dehumidifiers. Brilliant.  Because really, who can stop at just one? Someday, the technology will advance to the point where The Cloud understands that a person who just bought a dehumidifier is a person who now owns a dehumidifier and as such, is probably no longer in the market for a dehumidifier.  Someday, the uploaded consciousness of Don Draper will determine, ‘Maybe the dehumidifier was a desperate act and now this guy could be in the market for, say, a mold abatement service.’ Or the Internet will offer the proud new dehumidifier owner fun accessories like an “I ♥ DEHUMIDIFIERS” bumpers sticker or a cross-stitch pillow saying, “A dry basement is a happy basement and it’s also a perfectly fine dwelling for your brother-in-law until he can get his act together and besides, it’s just for a few weeks, we think.”  See guys, that’s the real promise of big data—that’s artificial intelligence; that’s the future.  That’s when I’ll know that handing over my last vestiges of privacy has been truly worth it.”

Another crank, a surgeon, explains how he learned to detest the inconsistency of the Automatic world of modern tymes:

panes“It began while scrubbing at the surgical sink for five minutes. They installed one row of scrub sinks that automatically went on by hitting them with your knee, with another “modern” set that automatically went on by sensing your hand under the faucet. I sustained an Automatic Injury whenever I would hit the bottom of the sink with my knee expecting it to go on only to realize that I was not at the Automatic Sink. It begat Automatic Envy as my knee was hurting and I wished I were at that other sink. Automatic Anger took over as I’d go limping into the operating room. It doesn’t stop there.”

One antidote to automatic envy, cabin fever, and Polar Vortex antics is … music! I sing badly to homemade CDs, playable in my unModern car. Studies show that, of people who do things in groups (sport teams, political clubs, choirs), people who sing together are happiest. And healthier! Some suggest it’s the vibration on the thymus gland improving immune response to biogremlins. I chalk it up to the sheer joy of harmonizing, resonating, and laffs, for all chorale groups snicker together. Who couldn’t, with what the tenors are saying back there?

My republican and democrat friends fraternize, often singing. We red and blue Valley pals have the best time, snorting away—we just don’t talk politics.table Or we do and let it go. We know we’re lucky to have heat and power; what’s a little difference of opinion among friends? Little tip for you there, warring peoples of the Land. Warble, harmonize, titter your way to amity. Good vortex. Good day.

Today is a Poor Day for Outdoor Fitness

-17And that’s without the 35 mph winds.

But who’s complaining? We’re like the International Ladies’ Garment Workers’ Union.